aries 17 january horoscope

Your Scorpio horoscope shows this is the year of making friends with your neighbourhood. Your Scorpio transits for each decan are also shown.. Mars & Venus For Scorpio ~ Love, Passion & Ambition. Venus retrograde will Saturn square ~ Mar 23 to Jul 1 & Dec 18 to end. Jupiter.

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How did you survive the great culling of Virgos that swept through — oh! You know what?


Sorry, I got confused there. Oh, yeah, today looks very good for you, Virgo! Maybe use this lovely day to get all your affairs in order. Just a thought. Libra: All your dreams will come true today. Or…I mean, one of them will. And I am so, so sorry. Scorpio: Your arms look weird.

And your face is a natural irritant. And your personality leaves much to be desired, the principal desire being your immediate absence. You disgust me, Steve Carlsbe—…I mean, Scorpios?

Scorpios, right? But, coincidentally, so are you, and your entire experience of the world.

capricorn quotes on Tumblr

Aquarius: You wanna make some money fast? Commit fraud. You stare bleakly at your home filled with stacks upon stacks of new cars, occupying every possible space at impossible angles. Congratulations on your prize! Live Episode - Ghost Stories. Leo: Bet all your money on red! All those material possessions were only weighing you down.

Soon you will be in many ways freer than the rest of us. Libra : Draw your loved ones closer to you.

Aries quotes

That first drawing you did was no good. No, draw them closer to you. Scorpio : OK so, I think we all know by now that this is the sign of Now, usually the horoscope just happens to turn out something quite mean for Scorpio. Purely through the unknowable combination of fate and random chance that is the meeting of the stars. But, Abby said that the stars had better knock that off! Things are looking bright. What a great day you have before you! Look how clear the sky, how green the grass, how dumb and oversized your feet look. How terrible it would be if that happened.

Capricorn : Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. The blood-dimmed tide is loosed upon the world and everywhere. So, your home carpentry project will not go well next week. Aquarius : OK, you are just two dogs in a trench coat, Aquarius.

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I mean I hate to break it to you, but you have no opposable thumbs, or language skills. Yes you are, yes you are! Good dogs! I mean there are lots of options for things to say. Aries : Ooh. OK, so this horoscope is just a picture of a bear. And next to the bear is a lizard and next to the lizard is a pelican. And they have their feet up on skulls.

Taurus : No sunshine for you, Taurus! Oh yes, everyone else will walk in sunny rays, sunshades and shorts, wide smiles and hat brims, SPF 50 and a Frisbee at the beach. You will likely lose feeling in your skin due to the cold of a sunless world. Good luck!

Meanings of the Zodiac Signs

Gemini : They say an onion has many layers. Gemini, you are like that onion. Time has peeled away, one after the other, each of your hard, pungent layers: snap, snap, snap! They pry off and urgent fingernails pry away the remnants as you grow smaller, wetter, less complex. Ooh, also like an onion, your odor makes us cry. Live Episode - All Hail. Taurus : Today will be lots of things for you, Taurus.

Blood-free will not be one of those things. Gemini : There are many organ donors, but did you know you can also register to be an organ collector? But anyway, you should definitely register as an organ donor. By next Thursday.

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At 11 AM. If you can.


Cancer : Aim for the moon, Cancer! Cold and alone. So really, aim for that moon, OK? Virgo : Happy birthday, Virgo! Capricorn Horoscope - Daily. Capricorn Gambling Luck Today. Capricorn lucky numbers to win the lottery. Free Daily Horoscopes. Libra Horoscope - Major Life Changes to expect! Today's Horoscope of Capricorn. Pisces Horoscope - Exciting predictions revealed! Capricorn Characteristics and Personality Explained.

Monthly Horoscope Capricorn - horoscope by astrosofa com. Yearly Horoscope astrology TV. Weekly Horoscopes for the Week of August 5 Glamour. Capricorn Horoscope September — Love and Career. Aries are strong and determined. I am the captain of my soul. Taurus are known for their stability. They are fun, expressive, flexible and affable. Being around them is always delightful and people are always drawn to their bubbly personality. Emotional, sentimental and nurturing, they are known for their kind and gentle hearts and their ability to take the high road in challenging situations.

They are wise and honest and they forgive all the time. Leos are born to rule the world. They are confident, charismatic, fearless and love being the center of attention. They know they are the best and are determined enough to prove it to the whole world. They know how to shine no matter how many people try to bring them down. Virgos are very perceptive and analytical.